“Make Me Feel like a (Wo) Man”
How Gender Roles, and Expectations can ruin a Relationship
“Relationships based on obligation lack dignity.”
-Dr. Wayne Dyer
As I sit and stare at the wall all I listen to the latest telenovela in my brain. Thought provoking questions relating to the age-old night cap conversations on romantic relationships arise; one can’t help but to romanticize the ideals of how men and women are supposed to act and what they should contribute. I asked several people directly what their expectations of the opposite sex were. The answers varied from the normal request of trust, to some far-fetched as dominating one another. But one in particular had me all ears, this young man said “I want her to make me feel like a man”
After that confession I can’t help but notice the nods of approval from some, shock from others, and straight confusion from few (I was amongst the confused bunch) I will say he is one brave soul for making such a controversial statement. He spoke it with the same amount of conviction as spelling his surname.
I was left bewildered. I sat there thinking is it my job [the woman] to make a man feel like a man?
There are so many studies on the idiosyncrasies of the man woman relationship. I myself feel that is a daunting task placed on someone. That’s like President Obama asking me if I could repaint The White House hot pink; A major conundrum to say the least.
Now, I am not saying that there isn’t a fine line to adhere to, but that fine line isn’t a rule I must abide by. As an adult you are expected to have a certain amount of maturity. Hence why adults tend to make teens stray away from “serious” relationships. Growing up I am sure one has heard “you’re too young/ you don’t know what love is at this age.” After those horrid teen years MOST of us have emotionally developed. The new ideal is to a point out to yourself “Hey I think I’m ready now”. Shortly after the man or woman grabs their preverbal fishing line and tries to catch one of the many in the sea.
“There is a thin line between love and hate, and there is that same thin line between codependency and indifference.”
It is my opinion that it is your mate’s job to enhance not to create. That being said, making them feel like a (wo)man is utterly ridiculous . You are there to reassure the positive status that they have established for themselves. If you are in a committed relationship (however you define yours basis) that person shouldn’t do things that would emasculate their mate. There are a lot of instances where it’s easier said than done. I am too human, I too have made mistakes. But that doesn’t give my mate the right to say your actions define me as an individual.
I am and will always be the sprrit that floats above the social norms in search of the balance between liberalism and that Red Blood American view points. I do not subscribe to on how men and women are “suppose” to act. Obligations and expectations are the termites to the possibility of a long lasting relationship. Before embarking in a romantic union ask yourself can this person do anything that will make me feel as if I am ‘less than’ that I was when I entered. If so its my suggestion that you should replenish yourself and not expect them to solely. A person will only do what you will allow them too. Teach them the rules to the game of you. You want your partner to succeed so you both will be happy and carefree.
Live. Love. Laugh. Share!
